Missing my Zen

Why do I always allow myself to lose my zen? I allow myself to be lazy regarding myself. I stop meditating, I stop analyzing, I stop being mindful and actively working towards my own betterment. I stop being and let my negative self reassert itself. How do we, in our busy lives, maintain that which keeps us happy? How can we keep focus on working to attain our better selves in the midst of noise, work, tech, life?

What reminders can I use that I won't begin to "not see"?

September

Holy muther fucking shit this has been the suckiest fucking September I have ever fucking had!  $550 fucking dollars on a 2 month old cat almost drained dry by fleas.  $60 fucking dollars to bug bomb my house 2 days in a row.  Mutherfucking  satanic bank of america took a disgusting amount of fees for my being overdrawn cuz the money my mom sent me to help me got deposited on a tuesday not a monday, they left me with $84 dollars.  FUck fuck fuckity fuck fuck cock sucking bullshit.  I'm leaving BoA in October.  BoA is satanic and run by greedy  basterd pigs and I hate them.  They were probably all in Skull and Bones and suck George dubbya's cock.  Fuckers. 

On a lighter note, it's September 30 and I started putting up my Halloween decorations.   I might just keep up them ALL FUCKING YEAR!!!  Namaste Bitchess!

Song of the Day

– Magic – Ya know “You can do magic. You can have anyone that you desire. Magic . . . “
Actually, I’m on a Magic theme lately, I had a different Magic song yesterday which I can’t recall right now, and of course the best one yet: Queen “It’s a Kind of Magic”. However, every morning I’m waking up with a different ABBA song in my head since watching Momma Mia with my niece on Sunday. Today was “Dancing Queen”, yesterday was “Money, Money, Money”.